1st. My life has recently taken a weird turn. I know this when my son's aide at school tells me, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Connor tried to jump out the window yesterday."
No worries the whole school only has one floor and the aide is so dedicated I believe she would have went out the window after him.
2nd. The first grade teachers at my son's school are having a bad week. I know this because I over heard one tell the other, "Excuse me, but I need to go chew up a few valiums now."
It was only Monday morning, wait till she has my son in her class, hehe!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
7 more things
Another one of my favorite bloggers, Jade at The Mixed Up Thoughts of a Jaded Soul has tagged me to tell 7 more things about myself. She assures all that she has tagged that it is bad luck not to follow through, so.....
1. Unlike Bill Clinton, I will admit that I did in fact inhale. The result was after one inhale I was extremely paranoid. My friends were quite happy when I announced that it was not something I enjoyed.
2. The people that were involved in my upbringing would have had it that I would be racist and very closed minded. Thank God for rebellion.
3. I was raised Catholic mostly, except for when my father had visitations, then I was baptist.
4. I have a sister and a brother born the same year, four months apart. I share the same Mother with one and the same father with the other. I was told I had another sister when I was in 6th grade, she was taken from her mother not long after. I now also have a step sister and brother from my father's 4th marriage.
5. "When bad things happen we have to pick ourselves up and keep going. Especially us women we have to do what is best for our families." These is the motto I live by. I often hear the sweet southern voice I heard it from in my head saying it over and over. The woman who said this has had several stillbirths due to being RH-, had lost the 3 men that she had loved, is adored by all, and turned 81 this past August. I am proud to call her my Grandmother.
6. Owing to the fact that I quit my job to be at home with my son, I have no medical insurance. This led to my sister having to triage me yesterday before seeing a nurse practitioner. She was very professional about it and said she was fine as long as there was no pelvic exam involved. We are of one mind, thanks Sis!
7. My mother does ludicrous things that drive me absolutely insane, and then I feel guilty about being aggravated with her and avoiding her phone calls.
Now I will tag my victims to tell 7 things about themselves.
1) The Kimbrough Family
2) Identity Crisis uh huh I tag you back!
3) Crystal Jigsaw
4) Down River Drivel
I wont go for the full 7 as most that I would tag have already been tagged.
1. Unlike Bill Clinton, I will admit that I did in fact inhale. The result was after one inhale I was extremely paranoid. My friends were quite happy when I announced that it was not something I enjoyed.
2. The people that were involved in my upbringing would have had it that I would be racist and very closed minded. Thank God for rebellion.
3. I was raised Catholic mostly, except for when my father had visitations, then I was baptist.
4. I have a sister and a brother born the same year, four months apart. I share the same Mother with one and the same father with the other. I was told I had another sister when I was in 6th grade, she was taken from her mother not long after. I now also have a step sister and brother from my father's 4th marriage.
5. "When bad things happen we have to pick ourselves up and keep going. Especially us women we have to do what is best for our families." These is the motto I live by. I often hear the sweet southern voice I heard it from in my head saying it over and over. The woman who said this has had several stillbirths due to being RH-, had lost the 3 men that she had loved, is adored by all, and turned 81 this past August. I am proud to call her my Grandmother.
6. Owing to the fact that I quit my job to be at home with my son, I have no medical insurance. This led to my sister having to triage me yesterday before seeing a nurse practitioner. She was very professional about it and said she was fine as long as there was no pelvic exam involved. We are of one mind, thanks Sis!
7. My mother does ludicrous things that drive me absolutely insane, and then I feel guilty about being aggravated with her and avoiding her phone calls.
Now I will tag my victims to tell 7 things about themselves.
1) The Kimbrough Family
2) Identity Crisis uh huh I tag you back!
3) Crystal Jigsaw
4) Down River Drivel
I wont go for the full 7 as most that I would tag have already been tagged.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Annie get your guns!
I have embarked on a new mission. The "Be strong and stick to your guns" mission. My children have left soft spots on my heart and Connor's, because I am afraid of the big bad world mistreating and taking advantage of him, has left a spot that resembles a bruised and rotten peach. Using enforcement to get him to say "Want" or "I want" when asking for something has not been hard for me. The thing that has been hard is the cutoff point.
When first trying to needle speech of any form out of him I heard over and over if they ask for it, give it to them. If he asks for cookies and says the word give him the whole thing, jump up and down, make a big fuss. Make saying the words rewarding. I did and he said more and more. Then we added "Want" word or sign, and then "I want". Every time rewarding, encouraging more communication.
A trip to the store rarely ends with out Connor getting something. Even when faced with the big expensive toys, his sisters would up their allowance to stop the crying and screaming. He spotted the fire engine from the Cars Movie, "Life would be a dream." he calls him, because that's the song that plays in the movie. We stop and look at the toy. Connor picks it up and admires it from every end. After a while I tell him we are going to put it back and say goodbye. "NO! MINE!" and tantrum from hell begins. Big tears splash down his face as he scrolls through all of his asking for signs and words. Obviously we are stupid and don't understand what he is saying, because despite him getting louder and repeating his pleas we are putting it back and leaving the toy area.
"Life would be a dream, where are you?" he cries and his sister can't take it any longer.
"Mama can we get it if I give you my allowance? She asks as she is now on the verge of tears. We leave with the fire engine in tow.
The latest trip to the store for a quick dash in and out, he gets his sister to take him to see the fish. I grab what I need and head back over to the pet department to find them not there. I start to panic a bit as I envision Connor somewhere laying on the floor and Grace trying desperately to get him to cooperate, when I hear "Mine!". He had forewent the fish and led her straight to the toys. He is now carrying a box through the store a tad bigger than him. The Cars Movie people strike again with a huge Mac that opens in to 3 different types of tracks. Mac talks and comes with cars, he is Connor's dream come true.
The problem with this is it is so close to Christmas and this is one of the items on Santa's list. Not to mention that it is expensive and would kill the mission and cause the downward spiral down a very slippery slope. I am wondering now how do you go from "Want" to "I want" to "Get a job, learn the value of a dollar, and buy it yourself."
It took a lot of patience and muscle power to keep him from falling out on the floor and hurting himself, but slowly we left the toy at the store. I told him what good asking he had done, which I am afraid fell on deaf ears. The meltdown that followed only lasted roughly an hour and ended with Connor falling asleep in exhaustion.
When first trying to needle speech of any form out of him I heard over and over if they ask for it, give it to them. If he asks for cookies and says the word give him the whole thing, jump up and down, make a big fuss. Make saying the words rewarding. I did and he said more and more. Then we added "Want" word or sign, and then "I want". Every time rewarding, encouraging more communication.
A trip to the store rarely ends with out Connor getting something. Even when faced with the big expensive toys, his sisters would up their allowance to stop the crying and screaming. He spotted the fire engine from the Cars Movie, "Life would be a dream." he calls him, because that's the song that plays in the movie. We stop and look at the toy. Connor picks it up and admires it from every end. After a while I tell him we are going to put it back and say goodbye. "NO! MINE!" and tantrum from hell begins. Big tears splash down his face as he scrolls through all of his asking for signs and words. Obviously we are stupid and don't understand what he is saying, because despite him getting louder and repeating his pleas we are putting it back and leaving the toy area.
"Life would be a dream, where are you?" he cries and his sister can't take it any longer.
"Mama can we get it if I give you my allowance? She asks as she is now on the verge of tears. We leave with the fire engine in tow.
The latest trip to the store for a quick dash in and out, he gets his sister to take him to see the fish. I grab what I need and head back over to the pet department to find them not there. I start to panic a bit as I envision Connor somewhere laying on the floor and Grace trying desperately to get him to cooperate, when I hear "Mine!". He had forewent the fish and led her straight to the toys. He is now carrying a box through the store a tad bigger than him. The Cars Movie people strike again with a huge Mac that opens in to 3 different types of tracks. Mac talks and comes with cars, he is Connor's dream come true.
The problem with this is it is so close to Christmas and this is one of the items on Santa's list. Not to mention that it is expensive and would kill the mission and cause the downward spiral down a very slippery slope. I am wondering now how do you go from "Want" to "I want" to "Get a job, learn the value of a dollar, and buy it yourself."
It took a lot of patience and muscle power to keep him from falling out on the floor and hurting himself, but slowly we left the toy at the store. I told him what good asking he had done, which I am afraid fell on deaf ears. The meltdown that followed only lasted roughly an hour and ended with Connor falling asleep in exhaustion.
Other peoples' children
Use to be that I didn't like other people's children. The children I did like or love were of course my own, my sister's, my friend's, and maybe some of the neighborhood children. Though most of the neighborhood children didn't make the cut.
Other people's children were rude, spoiled, and annoying. Our neighbor's children were a direct influence on this as they were let to go wild. The boy would walk across our yard to demand cups of water and Popsicles from my husband, to which Hubby would tell him to take his butt home and get it himself. The teen aged girl I had to tell off more than once for talking to my elementary aged daughter like she didn't have any sense.
I realize the fault was not the children's but of the parents and maybe mine as well as I have little patience. Connor however has made that different. Because of Connor I have learned tolerance and patience, although reluctantly. Being an overprotective mother has reached new heights and because of that I am thrown into the midst of other peoples' children for the well being of my son.
At the beginning of our school experience I felt a little guilty about being overprotective as I would watch parent after parent come into the class and drop off their child and I would leave 15 to 20 minutes later. I would tell myself, So what I am helping him adjust! It was true but part was not wanting to leave him.
We have since seen 2 aides come and go because they can not cope with so many of other peoples' children and they have no incentive to do so. So I stay longer and longer and help with other children and pair myself with them so they will be more willing to play with me and more importantly Connor. I make great animals noises and sing all the songs. I tell them how great they are and laugh with them. The rewards are wonderful. The kids want to be near Connor, the mother hens of the group want to help him, and to my great surprise, when my little guy is too busy to tell me good-bye and give me a hug, ten other little ones come and do it for him.
Other people's children were rude, spoiled, and annoying. Our neighbor's children were a direct influence on this as they were let to go wild. The boy would walk across our yard to demand cups of water and Popsicles from my husband, to which Hubby would tell him to take his butt home and get it himself. The teen aged girl I had to tell off more than once for talking to my elementary aged daughter like she didn't have any sense.
I realize the fault was not the children's but of the parents and maybe mine as well as I have little patience. Connor however has made that different. Because of Connor I have learned tolerance and patience, although reluctantly. Being an overprotective mother has reached new heights and because of that I am thrown into the midst of other peoples' children for the well being of my son.
At the beginning of our school experience I felt a little guilty about being overprotective as I would watch parent after parent come into the class and drop off their child and I would leave 15 to 20 minutes later. I would tell myself, So what I am helping him adjust! It was true but part was not wanting to leave him.
We have since seen 2 aides come and go because they can not cope with so many of other peoples' children and they have no incentive to do so. So I stay longer and longer and help with other children and pair myself with them so they will be more willing to play with me and more importantly Connor. I make great animals noises and sing all the songs. I tell them how great they are and laugh with them. The rewards are wonderful. The kids want to be near Connor, the mother hens of the group want to help him, and to my great surprise, when my little guy is too busy to tell me good-bye and give me a hug, ten other little ones come and do it for him.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
7 Things
One of my favorite people, Suzy over at Identity Crisis has tagged me to tell seven things about myself. So presuming these things should be at least mildly interesting I may have some trouble but here goes.
1. My favorite show of all time is a tie between Big Bang Theory and The Andy Griffith Show. I know rather random isn't it.
2. I sent off my application to join the Marines when I was in the 8th grade. They sent me a nice letter telling me to reapply in a few years with an iron-on logo.
3. When I am upset or worried I clean or make improvements on my house. The night before my sister gave birth to my first niece (prematurely) I wallpapered my kitchen.
4. I used to be able to drink my husband and his friends under the table. I have since had children and grew up, now two beers and I am searching for the nearest pillow.
5. I was named Dortha because my mother liked the name after seeing it on my paternal grandmother's headstone. They had misspelled Dorothy.
6. I had a dream when I was a child that I was playing at a boy's house and he bit me. The parents didn't do anything about it and it turned out they were aliens. I escaped from the house that was in the middle of a car scrap yard, and as I was running from it I caused a domino effect of falling cars. Have no idea what it meant but I have never been able to forget it.
7. Of all the things I have taught my children, including all the curse words they know :(, I am proud that they enjoy laying with their heads under the Christmas tree imagining miniatures of themselves walking the branches. It will keep them young at heart for a very very long time.
1. My favorite show of all time is a tie between Big Bang Theory and The Andy Griffith Show. I know rather random isn't it.
2. I sent off my application to join the Marines when I was in the 8th grade. They sent me a nice letter telling me to reapply in a few years with an iron-on logo.
3. When I am upset or worried I clean or make improvements on my house. The night before my sister gave birth to my first niece (prematurely) I wallpapered my kitchen.
4. I used to be able to drink my husband and his friends under the table. I have since had children and grew up, now two beers and I am searching for the nearest pillow.
5. I was named Dortha because my mother liked the name after seeing it on my paternal grandmother's headstone. They had misspelled Dorothy.
6. I had a dream when I was a child that I was playing at a boy's house and he bit me. The parents didn't do anything about it and it turned out they were aliens. I escaped from the house that was in the middle of a car scrap yard, and as I was running from it I caused a domino effect of falling cars. Have no idea what it meant but I have never been able to forget it.
7. Of all the things I have taught my children, including all the curse words they know :(, I am proud that they enjoy laying with their heads under the Christmas tree imagining miniatures of themselves walking the branches. It will keep them young at heart for a very very long time.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Acceptance in the Community
She is a small framed lady, but the kind you suspect could kick some butt if need be. The lines on her face show her age, even though she has long bleach blond hair styled like a teenager. She runs a convenience store on the far side of our neighborhood. One of those places where things cost two or three times what they would in a grocery store merely because of the convenience of running in and grabbing it quickly and the ability to get your gas at the same time if you wish. A place where they keep the flimsy attractive kids' toys on display right at the front door where hard to manage children can't miss them.
She adores Connor. If I go into the store and leave Connor in the car with his sisters, she will come out to see him. He smiles every time he sees her because he knows that she is so happy to see him. I had explained to her last spring that he has autism and may not answer questions for her like typical children his age and to my disappointment she seemed distant the next time we went in. I guess we all have bad days and I chalk it up to such as she has been her normal loving self since.
This morning when we stopped by to get a juice for Connor's lunch she met us at the door arms opened wide and a big smile on her face. "Connor! How's my little buddy? I'm gonna get all your huggings.". She squeezes him and he smiles and giggles. He shows her how great the toy display is with "Ohhs" and "Ahhs", then we grab a juice and make our way back up to the cash register.
She is slow ringing us up and is looking every which way for something. Finally she stops "I had a little toy up here waiting for Connor and now they've gone and done something with it."
"That's OK, he's on his way to school and would probably lose it in class."
She continues to look around and points to a marshmallow, chocolate covered treat and asks "Can he have one of these?" She frowns a little as she asks, my face must have gave me away.
"Oh you don't want him to have that do ya?" she says.
"Well not really. If he wasn't on his way to school it would be OK, but I'm afraid he would be covered with it by the time we got there."
As we leave she still makes a fuss over him even though there are customers waiting. Her making a fuss on him has an effect on those waiting however and they can't help themselves from smiling at him and waving or saying "Hi little guy!"
It seems funny to me that adults are still so prone to peer pressure. What she does makes it OK for other adults that see it to do the same. What she does is so important, she promotes acceptance of him in our community.
She adores Connor. If I go into the store and leave Connor in the car with his sisters, she will come out to see him. He smiles every time he sees her because he knows that she is so happy to see him. I had explained to her last spring that he has autism and may not answer questions for her like typical children his age and to my disappointment she seemed distant the next time we went in. I guess we all have bad days and I chalk it up to such as she has been her normal loving self since.
This morning when we stopped by to get a juice for Connor's lunch she met us at the door arms opened wide and a big smile on her face. "Connor! How's my little buddy? I'm gonna get all your huggings.". She squeezes him and he smiles and giggles. He shows her how great the toy display is with "Ohhs" and "Ahhs", then we grab a juice and make our way back up to the cash register.
She is slow ringing us up and is looking every which way for something. Finally she stops "I had a little toy up here waiting for Connor and now they've gone and done something with it."
"That's OK, he's on his way to school and would probably lose it in class."
She continues to look around and points to a marshmallow, chocolate covered treat and asks "Can he have one of these?" She frowns a little as she asks, my face must have gave me away.
"Oh you don't want him to have that do ya?" she says.
"Well not really. If he wasn't on his way to school it would be OK, but I'm afraid he would be covered with it by the time we got there."
As we leave she still makes a fuss over him even though there are customers waiting. Her making a fuss on him has an effect on those waiting however and they can't help themselves from smiling at him and waving or saying "Hi little guy!"
It seems funny to me that adults are still so prone to peer pressure. What she does makes it OK for other adults that see it to do the same. What she does is so important, she promotes acceptance of him in our community.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Occupational Hazards Part II
"Pizza? Pizza? Pizza?". We had left the OT's office and Connor's stomach has decided that it's needs pizza, so I hear him ask over and over.
"OK, honey. We'll stop and get some pizza." I decide we will brave the grocery and get a couple of the self sizes because there are a couple of other things I need.
He has to ride the horse and fire engine at the front of the store first and then pick his own cart. Sometimes he likes the car shaped carts and sometimes he likes the one with the big blue seats added on the front. Today he picks the big blue one and when I try to strap him in I realize the strap in broke. I look around for another one and decide to just go with what we have as I am being told off by a total stranger's toddler for taking the cart they just replaced.
"Hey, that's our cart!" she yells at me.
"I'm so sorry. I thought you were finished with it." I apoligize.
"We are she is just being cranky and hateful." her Dad explains. I knew that was the case and all the while I am stuffing the end of the innertube still around his waist into the cart and heading in the door.
He does his usual labeling of everything as he searches and takes it all in. After a few minutes he realizes he is not strapped in and ventures to stand on the little foot sized lip of the seats, putting the handle of the cart at chin level. He is content to ride but occasionaly checks back to see if I am going to scold him. I smile at him, grateful that he is enjoying himself and that I am allowing it. Not so long ago this would have escalated into a scene simular to a prison escape. Prisoner running, not knowing where to just away and tired wore out warden following behind the best they can to recapture.
In the frozen food aisle we both dare to take it a little further. He steps down off the lip to walk beside the cart. I watch and discover as the the strap of innertube pulls he comes along easily. This freedom is new to him and he scans the store as if he had never seen it, often running into the side of the cart.
We have since tried it again with them same great results. We do get looks from people, but they are mixed. Parents our own age look unsure, while older people smile. I remember my mom telling about her father tying a rope around her waist and tying the other end around himself. I guess maybe this was the norm back then for those who had trouble keeping their children by their sides.
"OK, honey. We'll stop and get some pizza." I decide we will brave the grocery and get a couple of the self sizes because there are a couple of other things I need.
He has to ride the horse and fire engine at the front of the store first and then pick his own cart. Sometimes he likes the car shaped carts and sometimes he likes the one with the big blue seats added on the front. Today he picks the big blue one and when I try to strap him in I realize the strap in broke. I look around for another one and decide to just go with what we have as I am being told off by a total stranger's toddler for taking the cart they just replaced.
"Hey, that's our cart!" she yells at me.
"I'm so sorry. I thought you were finished with it." I apoligize.
"We are she is just being cranky and hateful." her Dad explains. I knew that was the case and all the while I am stuffing the end of the innertube still around his waist into the cart and heading in the door.
He does his usual labeling of everything as he searches and takes it all in. After a few minutes he realizes he is not strapped in and ventures to stand on the little foot sized lip of the seats, putting the handle of the cart at chin level. He is content to ride but occasionaly checks back to see if I am going to scold him. I smile at him, grateful that he is enjoying himself and that I am allowing it. Not so long ago this would have escalated into a scene simular to a prison escape. Prisoner running, not knowing where to just away and tired wore out warden following behind the best they can to recapture.
In the frozen food aisle we both dare to take it a little further. He steps down off the lip to walk beside the cart. I watch and discover as the the strap of innertube pulls he comes along easily. This freedom is new to him and he scans the store as if he had never seen it, often running into the side of the cart.
We have since tried it again with them same great results. We do get looks from people, but they are mixed. Parents our own age look unsure, while older people smile. I remember my mom telling about her father tying a rope around her waist and tying the other end around himself. I guess maybe this was the norm back then for those who had trouble keeping their children by their sides.
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